Monday, October 11, 2010

Zombies vs. Unicorns: The Contest!

Yes, a contest. My first official contest. Why am I so nervous? I don't know, there's no reason to be.

But yes, I am having a contest. There have been many great debates in our time: Tastes Great vs. Less Filling, Pirates vs. Ninjas, Do Dolphins Secretly Rule the World or Do Mice?, and now... Zombies vs. Unicorns. Here's your chance to weigh in, have some fun, and in the process, perhaps win a prize.

Contest Details:

The Prize: A copy of the highly coveted, much sought after Zombies vs. Unicorns anthology signed by Holly Black, Justine Larbalestier, Diana Peterfreund, Kathleen Duey, Scott Westerfeld and Carrie Ryan.

How to Enter:

1. You must choose a side. There will be no Switzerland. I will have no Team Zombiecorn or Unicorn Ninja or Sparkle Zombie on this blog. It is forbidden.

2. Explain to me, as creatively and convincingly as possible in the comments section below, why zombies or unicorns are better. I'd also love to see some arguments in favor of the practical value unicorns or zombies might have.

3. You can enter three times. Any entries above and beyond that will be thoroughly ignored.

4. If you're my little brother, you can't enter.

5. You must follow my blog. You could also follow me on Twitter (@LiteraryMouse), but you don't have to if you don't want to.

6. The deadline is Wednesday, October 20, at 9pm EST...or whenever America's Next Top Model ends.

Entries will be judged on creativity, passion, and humor. I reserve the right to add more cool prizes if there's a ton of responses.

Update: Because of the awesome entries, I'm going to add a prize for the runner-up: A copy of Rampant signed by Diana Peterfreund. Keep those answers coming!

Update2: Thanks again to everyone who entered! I will announce winners Saturday evening, when I'm not in a sleep-deprived, work-induced haze.


  1. Unicorns should be preserved and loved by humans. They deserve our attention more than zombies do. Zombies smell and as they rot they give off gases which could potentially damage our ozone layer. We should strive to protect our environment and slow global warming, not add to our world problems by letting zombies roam free!

    Unicorns are beautiful creatures and I'm sure that not all of them are as evil as the ones in the book Rampant. Even if they all were that vicious, they would be wonderful allies for humans. The movie, Zombieland, accurately depicts our future face-off with those ghastly beasts. If we are to survive, then we must be on good terms with the Unicorn. The best way to do that is to declare our allegiance to them and war on the zombies. After all, unicorns can enhance the beauty of our environment while zombies would make earth look like a dumpster.

    Thanks for the contest. That was pretty fun, I have to say. :)

  2. Awesome contest!

    So after much internal debating, I've decided I'm Team Zombie. Zombies are tough (it's hard to kill them) and sometimes they have to climb six feet out of the ground from their coffins!

    Also, unicorns aren't really good for anything - they just stand around and sparkle (like some annoying creatures I could compare them too but won't because I'm nice like that). Zombies are epic. There are tons of movies made about them and all the cool kids dress up like zombies for Halloween.

    And my final point, once upon a time, zombies were humans too. Don't be racist and hate on them!

    Haha that was fun :D

  3. I didn't take long to choose a side. One thing for sure, I'm never team Zombie, cause ugh. That left me with Team Unicorn.

    Immediately reasons started popping into my head why unicorns are better.

    1) I'm pretty sure they taste better. With all the magic and all, I bet they take like beef, only way sooper better.
    2) They have that awesome horn! After I finish chowing down, I'll have a great tool. I can use it for fighting, a walking staff, roasting more unicorn. The list just goes on and on.
    3) Do you know how many uses there are for unicorn hair? I mean come on! I could make a wig, use it to tie things. Make a snare to catch more unicorns. It's almost as useful as the horn.
    4) And the hide! WOW! I'd be warm in the winters. Cause really, wearing zombie skin is just gross.

    Hmm? Let's see.

    5) I know! If I'm not hungry, I can save the unicorn for later and just ride it. Everyone would want to be my friend cause unicorns are way better than ponies. Then when I get tired of it I can always go back to points 1-4.

    Yeah. Unicorns definitely rock!

    OMG! I just thought of more things!

    6) GLUE! I bet glue from unicorns work better than glue from horses.
    7) Unicorn jello!

    Go Team Unicorn! May our bellies always be full!

    reenajacobs at reenajacobs dot com

  4. Jolly good day to you, friends on this blogosphere. Tis I, Dr. Beatrice Alfalfa-Scrimstone here to settle the debate on whether zombies or unicorns are the superior species. I consider myself an expert in the field of the odd (having earned a first in Odd Fauna Studies at Christchurch Oxford and attaining my doctorate in Bizarre Zoology at Cambridge before the tender age of 15). Be assured, all of the research I recount here is accurate and available for perusal upon purchase of my various published works. Having lived among a tribe of Tibetan zombies and a herd of Icelandic unicorns for no mean lengths of time, I can say that, based on copious observation and study, the unicorn is certainly the more superior beast.

    To present the case of the unicorn’s superiority, I must first refute the supposition that zombies are the nobler creature, for anyone who would make the case that zombies are better assuredly has not spent 10 years living among the meanest tribe of the things to ever inhabit the desperate shadow of Mt Everest! To start, zombies are prone to periods of intense melancholia and cannot be revived save by feasting on human flesh. As I was the only scientist on hand of the living variety, my flesh was constantly at risk of unwanted nibbling. I can assure you, comrades, I did not appreciate it on the several occasions I attempted give one of the depressed creatures a shoulder to proverbially cry on when what should I discover but my well-meaning shoulder in the gingivitised grip of their rotting teeth. No, I didn’t appreciate that one putrefying bit!

    Unicorns are civilized in comparison to zombies, and considerate to boot! Why, I can recall many a break-of-day that one of the bashful, silvery animals had retrieved a bucket of arctic water for my morning bath and collected the scientific periodicals I had delivered from Cambridge, Geneva, and New Amsterdam, and darned if the little angel hadn’t folded each with the masthead facing up for quick reference. Yes, unicorns are gladhearted, sanguine creatures whose tailhair can cut perfectly regular slices off of even the most stubborn gouda. Lesser scientists have failed to observe a unicorn uncork a bottle of Chateau St. Michelle with their fine, ivory horn and drink the bottle’s contents in one swallow. Could there be any greater evidence for the superiority of the unicorn? I argue that the temperament of the unicorn, as well as their rarity (which, since time immemorial has equaled value) and appreciation for fine wine more than proves the superiority of the unicorn to the zombie. Truly, the decision barely warranted contemplation. Next time I am consulted, I pray the question will pose a greater challenge to my not inconsiderable intellect.

    Sincerely and with All Due Respect,
    Dr. Beatrice Alfalfa-Scrimstone

  5. Greetings!

    Unicorns are totally better. They represent purity and grace, while zombies represent the shambling, unthinking, rotting masses of humanity. And who wants rotting? Rotting stinks. I bet unicorns don't even smell like horse; they're too perfect for that.

    If you're lucky enough to attract a unicorn, you get to sit with its head in your lap and pet it while it takes a nap. If you attract a zombie, it will eat you. Also, it takes no special skill to attract a zombie; just moving and breathing.

    And if a unicorn and a zombie got into a fight, the unicorn would totally win. By default. Because zombies don't eat animals, so it wouldn't even try. The unicorn would stabbity-stab it through the head before you can say, "Hey, is that a unicorn?"

  6. I have decided to argue the side of the zombie.
    Zombies are technically humans. Who haven't died. Don't hate on their smell or looks. Or are you just an appearance discriminator?

    Unicorns are clearly the inferior of the two. Because, really, unicorns are just some odd abnormality of nature. They are a combination of a horse and a narwhal. Which is not weird AT ALL. (How does that even work?) Some may argue that unicorns are kind hearted creatures. Then why, would they have a giant sharp horn sticking out of their head? I am no expert on animal warfare, but that seems like a violent weapon to me. One that they obviously plan to use in the future.

  7. I'm a new follower, and I have to say I love this give away.
    I have to chose Zombies because they are the obviously superior choice.

    1. When was the last time you saw a good movie devoted to unicorns? can you even think of one? Now when was the last time you saw an advertisement for a movie about zombies? At least one comes out every year!

    2. When was the last time you saw a whole TV series devoted to unicorns? Never, right? Zombies? That's right one is one starting on Halloween.

    points 1 & 2 show us that society as a whole prefers Zombies to Unicorns, and yet that is not the only evidence.

    If a Zombie showed up on your street, most people would make every effort to run away...a unicorn, not only would most people NOT run away, I doubt that most people would run towards it either, they'd probably take some random photos from the sidelines, then walk (NOT run) away.

    A Zombie can make more zombies with a single bite. You can leave only 1 alive and it could repopulate in days, maybe even minutes. You kill off all but 1 unicorn, and the most that there will ever be in 1 unicorn, how is that superior?

    And anyone who says that a unicorn is superior because of its horn, is forgetting one important thing about that horn...its on the top of the animals head, unless the person is just the right height and standing up, the animal is going to miss a killing blow...a Zombie is limber and can kill with a single bite anywhere on the body!

    Therefore, in closing, I think I've proven my point that Zombies WIN!!!!!!!

  8. I choose unicorns because, as I learned from Harry Potter, unicorns are the purest of creatures, magical in their very blood. They're elegant and graceful and absolutely beautiful and should be honored and respected. Also, zombies are just rotting corpses with little practical value. Unicorns are amazing because, if you win their respect, you can travel by them. They'd also make excellent, non-smelly companions.

  9. Team Zombie because if I went sparkly my little pony (unicorn) then I would be turning my back on vampires which make up for a lot of my literary boyfriends :)

    New Follower!