West Virginia Photo Album

One of the fun parts of writing a book is the research, at least for me. But maybe that's because I'm a professional researcher in real life. For Surviving Matewan, I had to immerse myself in the world of 1920 West Virginia. I started by reading a bunch of books on the subject, then searching through newspaper archives (it's a 45 minute trip to the Library of Congress from my house, joy!).

But you can't really begin to understand that world unless you go there. My finances are limited, so I only managed to go for a few days in the Fall of 2006. But I learned a lot, had some amazing experiences and took photos, lots of photos!

Here's a few from the start of the trip.

The first one is of the New River Gorge at sunset. The second and third are from the exhibition mine in Beckley. It's an old mine that's been converted into a tourist attraction. Retired miners serve as the tour guides and were kind enough to answer all the questions I had for them after the tour, and I had a lot of questions. There are also examples of a miner's household, the superintendent's house and a coal camp church. Finally, there's a gift shop that has some yummy fudge...and a little museum filled with mining equipment and fossils. At first that surprised me, but it really shouldn't, given what coal really is.

Rejection, It's What's for Dinner

And for lunch, and for breakfast...

No worries, I haven't received a rejection from the very kind agent who is reading my full. But while I nervously await a response, I thought I'd talk a little bit more about the writer's constant companion, rejection. More specifically, what do you do when you get a partial or a full rejected. Besides cry.

Let me tell you, getting rejected at the query stage is bad, but getting a full rejected is absolutely heart-breaking. It's like climbing up Mount Everest, only to have someone pry loose your hands and kick you all the way down the mountain. It undeniably, unabashedly sucks.

But it can be a valuable learning experience, because it's usually the first time a professional has reviewed your manuscript. As opposed to your Mom, or your beagle (the beagle says my manuscript is "a work of literary genius" by the way).

So when you do receive a partial or full rejection, based on personal experience, these are the steps I suggest you take:

1. Get away from the computer. You're upset, you're angry. Don't respond right away or you might say something you regret. Walk the dogs, get yourself a Coke Slurpee, watch Bear Grylls avoid alligators in a Louisiana bayou. Give yourself a chance to cool down.
2. Once you have cooled down, carefully read the agent's feedback. When it comes to writing, agents have x-ray vision. They can usually pick apart your book and point out its flaws in ways ordinary mortals can't. You don't have to follow the advice they give, but you'd be well-advised to at least consider what they have to say.
3. When you've read the feedback, write back and thank the agent for considering your work. I guess you don't have to do this, the agent's e-mail inbox is probably full enough as it is, but that's what I've done in the past. You might even be able to ask the agent a follow-up question regarding their comments if you think they'd be open to it. Some agents are, some aren't.
4. After that, go back to your manuscript and apply what you've learned!

I wanted to go into a little more detail about my own personal experience. I was lucky enough to have a really amazing agent reviewing my manuscript. She rejected it for weak characterization, which shocked me at first, because the characters are so real and detailed in my head, but somehow that wasn't coming through in my writing.

I couldn't figure out how to fix the problem, so I asked her for a specific example and she gave me two. Like I said, agents have x-ray vision. She somehow took apart the book, showed me the insides, and pinpointed exactly why the story wasn't working. So yeah, it hurt, but my manuscript is so much better thanks to her input.

The Waiting Game

Apparently my query wasn't half-bad, because I got a request for a full for Surviving Matewan. Pretty cool, huh? Hopefully I don't jinx anything by mentioning it, but this is the second time I've had a full requested, so I thought I'd share my experience.

Just like the first time, I spent the first ten minutes doing a dance around my house, shouting, "Nuh-uh, no way!" and re-reading the e-mail to make sure I had read it right (maybe the agent meant something else by "please send it to me").

Like last time, I didn't send the manuscript right away, and this is always a smart move because when you're that excited, it's very easy to make a mistake. Take a couple of hours or even a couple of days to calm down, then carefully read the agent's instructions and look over the manuscript.

If you have any questions about how the agent wants the manuscript sent, don't hesitate to politely ask for clarification. I had to do that with the first agent and I'm glad I did, as otherwise I wouldn't have sent her the materials the way she wanted and she was very understanding.

I have a bit more confidence this time around, not because I think the agent will offer representation, I know the chances of that are small (though I'm ever hopeful!), but with the first request, I couldn't help but wonder if it was a fluke, maybe the agent made a mistake or took pity on me. I know agents don't really do that, but somehow that thought crept into my head. With a second request, it's no longer a once in a lifetime event.

Now that the manuscript is sent, it's time for the interminable waiting. The last time, I tried to keep myself busy, but I ended up checking my e-mail far more than was healthy. This time, I'm determined to keep my mind off the manuscript. Give the beagle extra walks, give my mother's dogs extra walks, clean the house, enter blog contests, engage in endless speculation about Battlestar Galactica (I don't know if I'll ever know the truth, but I do know the confusion), etc., etc. Whatever it takes to busy myself.

It's Like a Query Haiku

Blog contests are my crack. I cannot deny this. And wouldn't you know it, Colleen Lindsay over at The Swivet is having just such a contest, the object being to write a query in 140 characters or less. That's 140 characters, not 140 words. It's kind of like writing a query haiku.

Since I just pestered queried Colleen about Surviving Matewan, I think I'll try this with another story that's been percolating in my head since the ninth grade (you can submit anything for this contest, the story doesn't have to be finished or even an actual story). It's a sci-fi comedy called Reality in Exile that I'd like to one day turn into a graphic novel. Fun fact: It started out as a fanfic parody of Twin Peaks, and slowly, bit by bit, it's evolved into something completely different and excessively silly.

Let me work on it and I'll post the results!

Here's what I came up with:

Genius Bubba Einstein invents superweapon, drawing Earth into galactic war. Bubba, a biker chick and a pizza delivery girl must save world.

Told you it was silly.

It's Like The Shining. In My House.

Oy. Now, I'm fine, the beagle is fine, and the rottweiler is fine, but Lucille the wonder beagle got it in her head to pick a fight with the rottweiler tonight.

The rottweiler, bless his neurotic little heart, tried to run and hide, which is what he usually does, but Lucille backed him into a corner and while he was trying to escape, he somehow nicked Lucille on the muzzle with one of his massive incisors.

Really, it was a nick, not deep and not more than a quarter of an inch in length.

Have you seen that scene in The Shining where all the blood pours down the hallway? Yeah, that's how it was. And yes, I was watching The Shining while all this was going on. The Universe. It laughs at me.

Dark blood, I'm guessing from a vein, poured down Lucille's muzzle and pooled here and there, everywhere and anywhere as she chased the rottweiler around the room. I finally managed to grab her and clamped my hand down on the wound. She then slipped free and raced all around, rubbing her muzzle against the floor, against the wall, against the sofa... I grabbed her a second time and pressed down until the bleeding stopped. It didn't take long.

Checked the beagle for any other wounds, but she was fine, the rottweiler was OK too. A little confused but that was about it. Lucille, the whole front of her, including her legs and paws, covered in blood, started to lick herself clean, then invited the third dog in the house to go play with her. Called my little sister the vet tech and she's going to check the beagle out tomorrow, but she said it didn't sound serious, despite all the blood.

Still cleaning the house. Seriously, I expect Gil Grissom to come through the door at any moment. If you sprayed Luminol in the living room, it'd light up like a glowstick. Thankfully I have hardwood floors and the sofa's really old and is going to be tossed out soon anyways.

As it so happens, it's stunts like this that gave me the idea to put Lucille in my book as a no good beagle that doesn't do much of anything except sleep and give my main character Molly grief. Maybe for my next book I'll write a memoir titled, Lucille and Me.

Update: Lucille is doing splendidly. She didn't need stitches, bandages or anything like that. She's now trying to convince the rottweiler to play with her and strangely enough, the rottweiler is staring at her like she's crazy and keeping his distance. I love my beagle.

Query Writing: The Query Letter Strikes Back

I was going to post my re-revised query letter last night, but my general rule is that it's better to sleep on it and give a query letter (or anything for that matter) another look in the morning before making final edits. Sleepiness does not lend itself to effective editing.

Here's the latest iteration, Query Letter Version 6.3. Or something like that. I long ago lost count.

1920. Matewan, West Virginia. It’s not easy being the woman of the house when you’re only twelve years old. It’s even harder when you’re living in a coal camp, caught up in one of the bloodiest strikes in American history.

After her mother’s death, Molly Anne McCoy has a choice: Step up and run the household or let her brothers and sister go into foster care. There’s just no way her father can raise a family on his own. Molly knows her mother would have wanted the family to stay together, so she sets her childhood aside, quits school, and takes over the day to day running of the house.

Not that that’s easy to do when her little brother Frankie keeps coming up with new and innovative ways to almost get himself killed and her little sister Gracie is throwing toys and tantrums. At least her brother Bobby is too busy reading and obsessing over creepy crawlies to cause her much trouble. Then there’s that awkward Billy Donohue boy Molly keeps running into. Molly’s starting to think he just might like her.

To make things worse, and there’s always something to make things worse, when the local miners, Molly’s father included, threaten to go on strike for better pay, life doesn’t just get harder, it gets more dangerous: Union rallies, gunfights in the street, banishment to a tent colony and eventually, guerrilla warfare in the mountains. Courageous, headstrong, and absolutely afraid, Molly will have to use every ounce of her resourcefulness and strength, from her skill with healing to her knowledge of herbs to her ability to keep calm in a crisis, if she and her family are going to survive.

A mix of Coal Miner’s Daughter and Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, Surviving Matewan is complete at 89,000 words and to my knowledge is the only Middle Grade or Young Adult novel to be set specifically in the 1920-1921 miners’ strike.

I did my best to be faithful to actual events. In the course of my research I visited Matewan, went down into a mine, spoke to experts and retired miners, waded through countless archives, and listened to oral histories from the people who lived and breathed the events themselves.

The partial or full manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your consideration!

The query is 386 words, a bit on the long side, but I really like it as is, so I'm not cutting anymore. For now. I feel like a teenager who just got a brand new shiny red sportscar, so I'm going to give this new query a spin and see how it goes.

My Query Letter, Let Me Show You My Revision

All right, here's my revised query letter. As promised, I tried to move the focus away from the history and more to the characters and plot. I also paid special attention to showing Molly as an active participant in events, rather than as a bystander.

I think there's still a bit more work to do before the letter's ready to be sent out. I'm especially worried about "A mix of Coal Miner’s Daughter and Gunfight at the O.K. Corral." Does that work as a hook or is it patently ridiculous? And is it even accurate?

Dear [Agent Name Here],

1920. Matewan, West Virginia. It’s not easy being the woman of the house when you’re only twelve years old. It’s even harder when you’re living in a coal camp, caught up in one of the bloodiest strikes in American history. In the 89,000 word Young Adult novel, Surviving Matewan, courageous, headstrong, and absolutely afraid, Molly Anne McCoy is determined to keep her family together through it all.

When Molly’s mother dies in the Great Flu Pandemic of 1918, Molly has a choice: Step up and run the household or let her brothers and sister go into foster care. There’s just no way her father can raise a family on his own. That’d be women’s work. To Molly, it’s an easy decision. More than anything, her mother would have wanted the family to stay together. Molly’s certain of that. So she sets her childhood aside, quits school, and takes over the day to day running of the house.

Not that that’s an easy thing to do when her little brother Frankie keeps coming up with new and innovative ways to almost get himself killed and her little sister Gracie is throwing toys and tantrums. At least her brother Bobby is too busy reading and obsessing over creepy crawlies to cause her much trouble. Then there’s that awkward Billy Donohue boy Molly keeps running into. Molly’s starting to think he just might like her.

To make things worse, and there’s always something to make things worse, when the local miners, Molly’s father included, threaten to go on strike for better pay, life doesn’t just get harder, it gets more dangerous. Union rallies, gunfights in the street, banishment to a tent colony, and eventually, guerrilla warfare in the mountains. If Molly and her family are going to survive, she’ll have to use every ounce of her resourcefulness and strength to help see them through.

A mix of Coal Miner’s Daughter and Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, to my knowledge, no Middle Grade or Young Adult novel has ever been set specifically in the 1920-1921 strike.

I did my best to be faithful to actual events. In the course of my research I visited Matewan, went down into a mine, where I promptly discovered I was claustrophobic, spoke to experts and retired miners, waded through countless archives, and listened to oral histories from the people who lived and breathed the events themselves.

If interested in reviewing a partial or full manuscript, my e-mail address is xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Thank you for your consideration!

Sincerely,

Melissa Barlow

My Query Letter, Let Me Show You It

It's almost open season for querying again and before I bombard various unsuspecting agents with my query letter, I thought I'd use the break to polish it up. Now, this query letter has been worked and re-worked about a dozen times, but I'm firmly of the opinion that it doesn't hurt to go back every once in a while and see if it can be improved upon further.

Especially in light of this very helpful post from literary agent Sara Crowe on query letters that worked on her. If you haven't visited Ms. Crowe's blog yet, I highly recommend it. Really, go check it out, I'll still be here when you come back.

See? I'm still here. Now on to my query letter...

Dear [Agent name here],

1920. Matewan, West Virginia. It’s not easy being the woman of the house when you’re only twelve years old. It’s even harder when you’re living in a coal camp, caught up in one of the bloodiest strikes in American history. Daring, headstrong, and absolutely afraid, Molly Anne McCoy is determined to keep her family alive through it all.

They called it the “Matewan Massacre.” Coal miners in Mingo County, West Virginia, Molly’s father included, were determined to join the United Mine Workers of America. The coal operators were just as determined not to let it happen. On a rainy afternoon in the town of Matewan, union sympathizers and Baldwin-Felts agents in the employ of the coal companies faced off. Someone fired a shot. Two minutes and hundreds of bullets later, seven of the agents, two miners, and the mayor lay dead. For the next year, out of work miners waged a guerilla war against the coal companies while their families struggled to survive in tents.

In the 89,000 word Young Adult historical fiction novel, Surviving Matewan, Molly Anne tells her story of the massacre, the miners’ eviction from their homes, and the year she spends struggling to care for her family while living in a tent colony. Caught up in a bitter fight for a better life, Molly has to deal with more day-to-day worries too, from her brothers avoiding chores to dealing with the possibility that one of the boys in the coal camp just might like her.

Despite a handful of adult non-fiction books and an independent film loosely based on events, to my knowledge, no Middle Grade or Young Adult novel has ever been written specifically about the massacre and the strike. (This is also where I put further information on why the agent might be interested in this particular manuscript. For example, if the agent expressed an interest in YA historical fiction.)

I did my best to be faithful to actual events. In the course of my research I visited Matewan, went down into a mine, where I promptly discovered I was claustrophobic, spoke to experts and retired miners, waded through countless archives, and listened to oral histories from the people who lived and breathed the events themselves.

If interested, my phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx and my e-mail address is xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Thank you for your consideration!

Sincerely,

Melissa Barlow

I like my query letter. I think it's pretty decent. It's gotten me one request for a full (which was rejected, but I got great feedback), so it's been somewhat effective. Still, after reading Sara Crowe's super helpful blog post that you really should read, I think I can make it better. Let me get to work and I'll show everyone what I come up with.

Update: I haven't read my query letter in a few weeks and really, looking it over again, I like it a lot. But I think I have to try and make it better because my manuscript has a few things going against it. It's on the long side at 89,000 words, it's in a strange no man's land between young adult and middle grade fiction, and it's a historical, which I'm starting to learn isn't always an easy sell.

My strategy is to focus less on the history and more on the characters, to try and bring them to life in the query letter.